After surgery, they not only expect you get up and walk even though you are miserable but they also expect you to eat! How dare them, right? Well, I obviously knew the reasoning behind why they make you get up and walk and knew that would mean being in more pain. What didn't expect was how different eating would be. I had always just eaten to eat whatever I wanted, however much I wanted at the time. Sometimes I would eat a lot, and other times I would eat just a little bit. However, knowing that I just had a surgery to reduce the size of my stomach, it now meant having a lot of restrictions and rules to follow.
One of the hardest rules at first and still to this day is that I cannot drink anything 30 minutes before eating a meal and cannot drink for 30 minutes after a meal and nothing during the meal. This is to ensure there is enough room in my stomach for the food and also to ensure that the water does not push the food out of my stomach too fast making it so that I don't acquire any of the nutrients. It's not as easy as it sounds. The 30 minutes before hand is sometimes hard because my throat becomes dry and I just want a sip. The 30 minutes afterwards is even worse because I can't drink during the meal. I never realized what a luxury it was to eat and drink at the same time. Now I have to look at the clock when I finish eating to figure out what 30 minutes will be so I can drink some water.
The first night in the hospital I was brought chicken broth, light lemonade and tea. Well those who know me know I hate hot drinks so I didn't even bother with the hot tea. They give you one ounce cups and you are supposed to drink one ounce every 15 minutes. The goal is to get 4 ounces in throughout the hour. Yeah, I can tell you that didn't happen. I would rink one ounce and that was it. I was full. I tried the lemonade and one sip of that and that was done. I can't drink lemonade anymore that is for sure. It would take me more than 15 minutes to drink one of those tiny ounces of broth. Not to mention, the broth was NASTY!!!! I did what they wanted. I had to drink so many ounces before I could go home. So on top of everything else I had to drink so many little cups to show them I was getting nutrition and hydration.
Once I got home it wasn't much better. The cups were sent home with me. I used them for a long while. Then Kimmy bought me some small purple bowls (which I still use by the way) and a small pink fork and spoon (which I also still use). The told us that using a smaller spoon and fork would help with the amount we eat with each bite. It actually does help. I was on broth for 2 weeks. I thought it would never go away. I hate the smell of chicken broth now.
There are many stages you go through with the food. There is liquids, pureed (so gross), soft foods and then eventually normal food. It's all a learning process. I never realized how hard it would be to learn how to eat again. When I say "learn" I mean learning which foods my new stomach can tolerate and which foods it won't. Mind you, I have had tummy issues for many years. It was nothing new to me to eat something and get sick. However, the pain of eating something wrong is worse than I have ever felt before. For example, I had a KFC Mashed Potato Bowl. I figured it was mashed potatoes and chicken. I should be safe! Yeah, after 3 bites I was sick as a dog. I lived in the bathroom for about 45 minutes and then went right to bed and cried myself to sleep the pain was so bad. Then there is learning how much to eat! If you over eat you can get sick. Let's just say I didn't eat shrimp for a very long time.
Then there are the safe foods. I love peanut butter, baked potatoes, chicken, green beans, light cheese sticks.... things I know that won't make me sick. I can honestly just be okay eating those for the rest of my life. I know that I have to expand which I am doing slowly. I have learned that it is usually about 4-5 bites and then I am done. I have had several times where my brain will literally tell me "YOU NEED TO STOP!" or it will say "NOPE! CANNOT EAT THAT!" If I try to push the limit I end up spitting it back out. I have learned to follow that little voice that tells me when to stop. I have such a fear of getting sick that I don't like to push my luck.
I drink my two protein shakes a day (except weekends). I have my three meals and two small snacks in between. That is it. I don't eat junk anymore. Yes, I have had the occasional french fry but then realized that can get dangerous and stopped. There is a reason I had the surgery. This is a new chance at life and if I can longer enjoy some of the things I loved like pizza, pasta and sweets that is the way it must be. It hasn't been easy. I have always struggled with food. I have struggled with eating too much, or just not wanting to eat because I was so large.
Now the struggle is knowing I have to eat even though I NEVER feel hungry. Yes, you read that right. I NEVER really feel hungry. The days I do feel hungry are usually days where I know I haven't had enough protein. Sometimes I believe my brain just thinks it's hungry. My body isn't hungry but because I was the type who would eat when I would get emotional or bored it sometimes still thinks I can just go eat whatever I want. I have a routine. Here is the routine Monday - Friday when I work:
6:30 am: Breakfast
9:00 am: 1st protein shake
11:30 am: Lunch
3:00 pm: 2nd protein shake
6:00 pm: Dinner
Sometimes I have snack but no more than two snacks a day. That's what I do each day. In the last 8 months I have trained myself. It hasn't been easy. But it so longer about living to eat, it's about eating to live!
Next in the life of weight loss surgery...... clothes! It sounds great but is also hard at the same time!
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